belly crawl

Dear Bird,
Today you started belly crawling. It's a big step for you. Your physical therapist says you're slightly delayed, your dad says you're lazy (like him), and I just like to think that you know better than to subscribe to some pediatric guidelines that dictate when you should do what. You're a rebel.

Anyway, back to the belly crawling. You did it. You really wanted to get your hands on my make-up bag. Your crawling -- on the ground, army style -- reminded me of the time that I was caught breaking into a swimming pool (in high school, not recently).

How, you might be wondering, did your belly crawling remind me of pool trespassing with my friends in high school? Here's how:

After we successfully scaled a ten-foot wire fence (and discovered that the pool was not kept full after hours -- crushing our dreams of a midnight/moonlit swim), we manged (as we ran around like idiots) to trigger some sort of alarm (or simply attract the attention of nearby neighbors). The police arrived. There were big lights and a lot of uniformed men. My friends and I, thinking we had a chance to make it out unnoticed, got down on our bellies and slithered through the dirt and poolside plantings back towards the ten-foot fence.

If you are reading this before adulthood -- don't get any ideas (about breaking into swimming pools OR successfully evading multiple police officers) -- MY STORY DID NOT END WELL. Even though we belly crawled like crazy  -- WE GOT CAUGHT. And you want to know something else? Breaking An Entry is a pretty serious crime. We were arrested, parents were called, parents were ANGRY, and we had to get a lawyer to represent us in Court.

This is a story for you to laugh at. And learn from. Even if you remain an expert belly crawler, please, PLEASE don't break into any pools (or into any any places).

With Love,

You (Juvenile) Delinquent Mama